A simple and meditative way to connect and relax with your body and your partner is to sit back to back, to breathe more fully and to to help each other bring your consciousness down into your bodies by following your breath.
1. Find a comfortable seated position
so the backs of your heads, shoulders and base of spines are all touching. Allow the seat to be comfortable, be it kneeling, crossed legged or supported with cushions and/or a bolster. Make sure you are at about the same height. Distribute your weight evenly so you are lightly touching each other and neither of you are pushing each other out of your centre of gravity.
2. Start by focusing on your own breathing.
Take a few gentle, long and deep breaths, drawing air in through your nose and out through your mouth.
Place both hands on the centre of your chest and feel your breath in filling, expanding and relaxing your heart centre.
As you breathe out, let go. Allow the weight of your thorax, shoulders and arms to create the exhalation. Allow yourself to sigh, if you feel to. Feel your back touching your partners back. Feel the rhythm and sound of their breath, feel the warmth of the connection radiating into you.
3. When you feel ready, place both your hands on your solar plexus.
As you inhale to your maximum, use all your focus to follow your breath down into your body, gently pushing open and expanding your diaphragm.
This is the gateway between the emotions in your heart centre and the feelings in your belly. We often don’t breathe deeply because we don’t want to feel. We keep our consciousness high in our bodies, distracted by thoughts, tasks and TV. If you feel any resistance, it’s likely that you are avoiding something uncomfortable. Try to stay with it. Try to stay with yourself and your partner.
Again, feel the warmth and support of your partner behind you. Feel the rise and fall of their breath and perhaps you can also perceive the subtle sensation that they are also relaxing and descending deeper into their body.
4. Now place both your hands on your belly.
As you inhale deeply, follow your breath down, through your heart centre, past your solar plexus and down into your belly. Come into contact with the feelings and sensations on the inside of your pelvis and allow your belly to relax and expand.
Come into contact with the connection between your whole spine and that of your partners. as you breathe in, following your breath, descending into your body. Feel the weight of your body descending down through your spines and relax your hands on your knees, palms up.
In this deeply relaxed and embodied state, focus your attention on your partners breathing pattern and that of your own. You may begin to naturally come into sync. Don’t force this, allow the merging of the body and breath to be natural.
6. Stay here as long as you feel comfortable and connected.
When you are ready to disconnect, get up gently and slowly, leave them to continue as long as they need to. Gently kiss your partner on the back of the heart. Make some tea for you both and find your chocolate stash.
Breathing the lazy way can be just as effective for relaxing and coming back into intimate contact with your partner. One of you will be the giver, the other the receiver, but you will both get to relax and enjoy.
1. If you are the giver, find a comfortable reclined position on the floor or on a large bed.
Do whatever you need to feel comfortable: yoga mats, a duvet, a pillow under your knees etc. with your head supported by a cushion. Your partner will lay on their back, perpendicular to your body to your right and relax their head gently on your belly like a pillow. Place your left hand on their forehead. Your right hand on the centre of their chest. Breathe your way gently and deeply down into your body. Bring all your attention to the back of their head resting on your belly, your left palm on their forehead, and how it rises and falls with your breath. Your right hand, resting on their heart centre, rising and falling with their breath.
2. If you are receiving
place your hands on your belly and focus on relaxing your neck, shoulders and arms as much as possible. Breathe your way gently and deeply down into your body. Let go of control as much as you can and allow your head to rise and fall with your partners breath. Stay here until you feel completely relaxed or your partner is snoring too loudly.
3. Roll over and get cuddled
Remember, interpersonal intimacy begins firstly with being comfortable with yourself, as you are. When you take the time to come in to relaxed contact with the feelings and sensations in your own body, it creates the space for others to be open to contacting their own feelings, and from their real sharing can occur.
Louka Leppard began his practice in 1995 after being inspired by Acrosage, the work of Benjamin Marantz. He expanded and developed the idea of using simple acrobatic release postures, combining this with his knowledge and personal experience in massage, yoga and meditation. Louka now lives in Geneva and offers one-to-one treatments there and in Paris and is now becoming a welcome regular in London
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